Thursday, April 1, 2010

which one?

Thanks for the suggestions. Now I wonder which one how is the best one.

ORIGINAL : Some monsters secrete musk how is strongly aphrodisiac for fertile females

1. Some monsters secrete a musk which is strongly aphrodisiac for fertile females.

2. Some monsters secrete a musk that acts as a strong aphrodisiac for fertile females.

3. Some monsters secrete a musk that is a strong aphrodisiac to fertile females

4. Some monsters secrete an aphrodisiac musk that has a strong effect on
fertile females.

5. Some Monsters give off a strong pheromone that seduces fertile women.

6. Some monsters secrete a musk that is a strong aphrodisiac for fertile females.

7. The musk some monsters secrete is a strong aphrodisiac for fertile females.

8. Some monsters secrete a musk which is a strong aphrodisiac for fertile females.

9. Some monsters musky secretions have a strong aphrodisiac effect for fertile females.

7 comments:

  1. IMO They all seem fine except #1. I just don't like the way "aphrodisiac" is used in that one.

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  2. 1./9. are broken english and shoulnt be used.

    2./4./6./7. sound very clinical and boring.

    3./5./8. sound good

    how about

    Some Monsters give off a strong musk that seduces fertile females.

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  3. Liking this one the best:

    Some Monsters give off a strong musk that seduces fertile females.

    Though I am not convinced that fertile needs to be in there at all.

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  4. My bad, I wrote 9 *drops head* didn't realize how bad it sounded until today -.-

    For the purposes of monsters-seducing-females wouldn't it sound better:

    Some Monsters give off a strong musk that arouse fertile females.

    Replace "Seduce" with "Arouse" and you imply a more sexual content?

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  5. Just pick one! I'm dying to see what we are writing about.

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  6. 2. Some monsters secrete a musk that acts as a strong aphrodisiac for fertile females.

    I think this one sounds most technically accurate.

    The only one that is right out is number 1.

    Number 9 sounds pretty icky, so if that's the feel you're going for, then number nine it is.

    ReplyDelete