Thursday, April 1, 2010

which one?

Thanks for the suggestions. Now I wonder which one how is the best one. ORIGINAL : Some monsters secrete musk how is strongly aphrodisiac for fertile females 1. Some monsters secrete a musk which is strongly aphrodisiac for fertile females. 2. Some monsters secrete a musk that acts as a strong aphrodisiac for fertile females. 3. Some monsters secrete a musk that is a strong aphrodisiac to fertile females 4. Some monsters secrete an aphrodisiac musk that has a strong effect on fertile females. 5. Some Monsters give off a strong pheromone that seduces fertile women. 6. Some monsters secrete a musk that is a strong aphrodisiac for fertile females. 7. The musk some monsters secrete is a strong aphrodisiac for fertile females. 8. Some monsters secrete a musk which is a strong aphrodisiac for fertile females. 9. Some monsters musky secretions have a strong aphrodisiac effect for fertile females.
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7 comments:

  1. StickApril 1, 2010 at 8:21 PM

    IMO They all seem fine except #1. I just don't like the way "aphrodisiac" is used in that one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. godgunnerApril 2, 2010 at 11:16 AM

    1./9. are broken english and shoulnt be used.

    2./4./6./7. sound very clinical and boring.

    3./5./8. sound good

    how about

    Some Monsters give off a strong musk that seduces fertile females.

    ReplyDelete
  3. TonyApril 2, 2010 at 4:51 PM

    Liking this one the best:

    Some Monsters give off a strong musk that seduces fertile females.

    Though I am not convinced that fertile needs to be in there at all.

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownApril 3, 2010 at 5:39 PM

    3 or 5 methinks :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. LoneTigerApril 12, 2010 at 7:51 AM

    My bad, I wrote 9 *drops head* didn't realize how bad it sounded until today -.-

    For the purposes of monsters-seducing-females wouldn't it sound better:

    Some Monsters give off a strong musk that arouse fertile females.

    Replace "Seduce" with "Arouse" and you imply a more sexual content?

    ReplyDelete
  6. StickApril 20, 2010 at 8:14 PM

    Just pick one! I'm dying to see what we are writing about.

    ReplyDelete
  7. chipwitlyMay 9, 2010 at 12:18 PM

    2. Some monsters secrete a musk that acts as a strong aphrodisiac for fertile females.

    I think this one sounds most technically accurate.

    The only one that is right out is number 1.

    Number 9 sounds pretty icky, so if that's the feel you're going for, then number nine it is.

    ReplyDelete

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